Thursday, November 29, 2007


FB will arrive one week from today!!!

We will be married one month from today!!!

These last few days - excitement way out-weighs sadness :)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


As suggested by a good friend, I am going to share with you all this morning the most frequently asked questions posed to me in the last several months.

So, are you (getting) excited??
This question bugs me. Are you serious? Of course I'm excited! I'm getting married!! I think this is the kind of question people ask when they don't take the time to actually think of something to talk about.

When are you leaving/when is he coming?
This question, although much more valid than the last one, has definitely gotten old. But only because until just a couple of weeks ago, I had no good answer for this. Sometimes I'd give some vague answer about what we were hoping would happen, other times I just said I had no idea. And although I think I have handled all of our ever-changing plans pretty well (thank you very much), not being able to give a good answer to this question invariably brought on a subtle roll of anxiety in my gut.

Will you work when you get there?
Umm, I was thinking that moving to another country, mastering a foreign language, and getting married would be enough major adjustments for one time. Plus, just about any job is going to require a little more Spanish than I currently have. Of course, considering our current financial status, it may become necessary. Which kind of stresses me out sometimes.

How many days?
This one is asked consistently by a few people who know how much I enjoy counting down to the wedding :) (32 days, in case you didn't notice. and only 9 until he gets here!)

Are you ready?
This one has started popping up more recently. I usually answer that I don't think it is really possible for me to know until it happens. I don't even have anything remotely close in my life to compare this to.

How are your parents with all of this?
Not a bad question, I suppose, except that the answer seems so obvious. How do you think they are doing? They feel like just about any parent would feel (at least, within a healthy family relationship)...they are excited about the marriage to a great guy, excited their daughter is happy, sad that we'll be living so far away.

The extreme repetitiveness of these questions makes me feel a bit like a high school senior (you know, when all you are ever asked is if you "know what you want to do next year/with the rest of your life?"). It's not that some of the questions aren't valid, but that so many times it feels like the person asking didn't give any thought to the conversation, just grabbed onto the easiest, most obvious question that popped into their head. It also makes me feel a bit one dimensional, if that makes sense. I truly appreciate the few who show how much they truly care (even if they do ask one of the FAQs), who you can tell stopped what they were doing or thinking about long enough to really listen and go a little deeper than the surface.

Questions I wished I was asked more often:

Is there anything I can do for you?/Do you need anything?
I don't always have a good answer for this one, but it makes me feel cared for. Luggage and cash are about the only gifts I'm accepting at this point. Help packing can be nice. Prayers are huge. Speaking of which...

How can I pray?
I love this one. There are so few tangible ways anyone can help me, but there are lots of things I'll take prayer for. My answer can vary based on who I am talking to and what other things we've already discussed, but a few of the biggies include:
-FB's job situation. His current salary does not even come close to cutting it. And I'm just talking paying the bills, not anything extra or comfort based.
-My Spanish!
-My transition. This is a huge change, and it's only gonna work by God's grace. Related to this - my emotions. To be able to process them in a healthy way without becoming overwhelmed by them. Also related - building relationships with people even though I'm not yet fluent in their language.
-Honestly, I truly worry sometimes about whether I'll be a good wife. I'm thinking that probably a lot of soon-to-be-married women have this concern. Mine is compounded by all the cultural adjustments (will I be able to make foods he likes/is used to? will homemaking skills I have here easily transfer to a place with different customs and resources? will my Spanish improve quickly enough for me to be able to communicate effectively with him?)

Of course, watch - I'll end up missing being asked all these questions once I'm surrounded by non-English speakers and missing everyone here :P

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

What to say?

I couldn't help but notice (you may have as well) that I have posted significantly less this month than the last couple of months. I got to wondering why that was, since I have at least as much time now for it as I have had. The conclusion I reached is that my focus is so narrow right now, I feel like I'll only be repeating myself. The cycle of emotions I posted a few days ago pretty much sums up where I am at lately.

But a couple of new things I can share...

I didn't expect to be here still for Thanksgiving. I'm truly looking forward to fully enjoying tomorrow. All of my siblings and their spouses and/or children will be there (the first time since the end of July). We'll be at my aunt's (my mom's younger sister) like we have been every year about as long as I remember. My aunt and uncle will make way too much food, we'll end up laughing hysterically with my grandmother over next to nothing...the same things that happen every year and are that much more special because of it. An extra special element this year - I am bringing my wedding dress (as well as all the extras like the veil and jewelry) to try on for my grandmother. Since the trip to Mexico would much too much for her at almost-95, I'm looking forward to being able to at least share this much of the wedding experience with her.

I've already chatted with FB about creating our own Thanksgiving tradition in Mexico. We'd have to do it on a Saturday so that people would have the time to join us. But I'm looking forward to an opportunity to share some of my traditions and memories with friends and family there.

Just in case anyone lost track, my fiance will be here 2 weeks from tomorrow...

Something I just recently found out about and am looking forward to quite a bit - apparently my future sisters-in-law and future landlady (also a friend) are planning a bridal shower for me the first Saturday after I arrive in Saltillo! I'm really excited to be able to see friends and celebrate with them! And since they are holding it so early after my arrival, I'll quickly have a better handle on what we'll need to purchase.

Other than that, the only real news is that plans are coming together for the few days that FB will be here. I've sent out email invites to an Open House for that Saturday, my old coworkers are planning a short shower type party for us, I'm going to talk to grandma tomorrow about a visit with her that Friday morning, and still need to talk to my grandfather about a visit with him. I'm the only one able to meet him when he arrives, as most people will be at work or school, but that will give him a little bit to reorient himself after a long day.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Cyclical emotions

Ummm... do you realize that my man will be here in 20 days??! That's right - less than 3 weeks from now. Do you also realize that only a few short days after he arrives, we'll leave together - as in, I will make a permanent move to another country??!

This knowledge sends me through the following cycle of emotions:

1) I'm so excited I want to jump up and down because there are only 20 short days until I can see the love of my life!! And where every other time I've seen him, I've had to leave him less than 2 weeks later - this time I will be seeing him every day indefinitely!!

2) I become almost paralyzed at the thought of packing for a move to another country. I have moved many times in my life, including 9 moves in the last 11 years (is that not ridiculous??). But to move to another country? One far enough away that I am flying, not driving - meaning anything and everything I want to bring with me needs to fit into a suitcase. Oh, and each suitcase has to fit the ever lowering weight limit unless I want to pay exorbitant fees - meaning I have to think very carefully about which items I pack together in each suitcase.

3) Ok, quick disclaimer on this one: I have never been more sure of something in my life. I absolutely know that this move is exactly what I want to and should do. BUT - I am slightly in shock that in a little more than 3 weeks, I am going to move to another country. I am, as in, me - the girl who has lived within a 5 mile radius her whole life (minus one or 2 years that were less than 15 miles out).

4) A deep sadness about all the people who I love and care about who will be here while I am there, and how very much I will miss them.

5) A bit of disbelief, in a fairy-tale, very happy kind of way, that I am actually getting married - to a man that I love and respect very, very much. And just to put the icing on the cake, so to speak, I am beginning to feel like I will truly look like a princess on my wedding day. (Have I mentioned how much I like my dress? And jewelry? And how I now have the perfect make-up? Oh, I have? Ok, good.)

On a related note, a friend recently mentioned how she will soon be celebrating her 9th anniversary. There have been many times that I have reassured myself that I have not been single all that long, that I am still relatively young, etc. And then a friend mentions she's been married almost 9 years (and she was a senior in college when she married - an adult, by most everyone's standards), and I realize that I actually have been a single adult woman for quite a while. I've kinda gotten used to it, in fact, and have learned to enjoy many aspects of it (not that I ever enjoyed it enough to want to stay single!). I'm thinking married life might be a bit of an adjustment.

Anyone else tired yet? Because I am. This transition stuff is exhausting.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I've mostly avoided having to figure out and put together all the wedding details thus far. Mostly because I'm so far away that I can't be the one actually figuring things out, and partly because we've had a pretty long engagement so it was easy to put things off. But not anymore. We're down to 6 1/2 weeks until the wedding (oh my gosh! that is soooo soon!!) So, lots of final details need to be dealt with. And I've actually made some very good progress in recent days.

Over the weekend, former roommates helped me finish off finding my wedding day jewelry. We had a great time hanging out, including dinner (with dessert!) beforehand. And I do believe the jewelry is perfect! :)

Yesterday I had a make-up appointment with a woman from church that sells Mary-K. I realized recently that seeing as how I will be in a very small minority once I move to Saltillo, it may be difficult to find my colors and/or someone who could help me choose the right look for the wedding day. Thanks to the fact that she was running a 1/2 off sale, I now have lots of great make-up for not so much money. And since I'm not that great with make-up, the one on one consult was very helpful.

You may remember these ring ideas from about a month ago. Well, FB definitely liked this one. So a few weeks ago, my mom and I went out ring shopping...and couldn't find anything quite like it. I was somewhat discouraged. But then we went again last Thursday. Not only did we find more than one store where we could get exactly what I was looking for, one of those stores has a sale running - if you buy a matching set, you pay for the man's and the woman's is free! Thankfully, it appears that ring sizes are standard between here and Mexico, so now that I have FB's ring size, I can get those ordered tonight or tomorrow. From what I was told, the rings should be in before I leave.

I've been making my head spin today while researching my options on how to transfer my money from here to there. (I haven't come up with a bank yet that has branches in both places, so it looks like I need to close my account here and get all of my money there somehow...)

I'm sure there's more that I'm not thinking of in the moment, but I don't want to bore you all to tears, so I won't try too hard to think of what I'm forgetting. ;)

Friday, November 9, 2007

They're booked!!

I booked the flights this morning!

They aren't perfect - FB's ticket ended up a bit more expensive than I expected, and we arrive back in Mexico kind of late - but he'll arrive here at 2:30 in the afternoon, which maximizes his time here. We don't leave till 11:00 am that Monday. And there's only one layover in each direction. And unless there's some major issue, he should have enough time to get through customs and immigration on the way up here.

So, I really am leaving. Funny how much more things sink in when there's an actual date and flight. I've known for over a year that this was coming, but while all the dates were fuzzy, it was easy to not really consider what all it meant. Hmmm. That isn't exactly what I'm trying to say, but it is the best I can do to put it into words for the moment.

I've been crying a lot ever since the date to leave was set. Not long bouts of sobbing or anything. Just moments where someone comes to mind and I realize how much I'll miss them and how much it hurts to leave them. Maybe it's the thought of a nephew or niece, or just before I call a good friend, or after calling my mom about the hundredth thing that day. And I'll lose it (sometimes completely, sometimes just a few tears) for a minute or 2. Times that by several times a day. It's kind of exhausting.

On the other hand, I'm so excited about seeing FB that I can hardly stand it! I keep thinking about the really great part where I don't have to say good-bye to him for a long time to come. I'll be with him everyday. And I'm looking forward to the time I'll be spending with his family before the wedding (I'll definitely be staying with his mom, sister, and nieces for the few weeks between my arrival and the wedding, and he and his brother will go live in the house we're going to rent). I can't wait to see all my friends in Saltillo. I'm already hoping I get to go to home group the night after I arrive so I can see some of them.

I'm working hard at making sure I turn to the Lord with all my ups and downs. I don't know why it is that it is so easy to avoid the Lord exactly at the times you most need Him. So, when I find myself in tears or anticipating the excitement of being with my man, I am really trying to stop and talk to the Lord about it for a moment. Ask Him for help, or thank Him for the ways I'm blessed, or just share what I'm feeling.

All in all, this is quite the roller coaster ride. Please pray I don't completely exhaust myself as I work through all the emotions. Please pray I do indeed work through all the emotions. Please pray for supernatural organizational and packing abilities. Please pray for the right priorities for FB's time here.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


For those of you who like a little closure, I thought I should post a couple of updates.

As you may remember, I've been sick for 4 solid weeks now. A week ago, I finally broke down and went to the Dr sans insurance and got an antibiotic. I had high hopes of remembering what normal feels like within a few days.

Well, as it turns out, the antibiotic does not appear to have done a thing for me. Took the last one last night. I'm still congested. Still coughing occasionally. I bought a different expectorant/decongestant yesterday (this time I had my ID ready). Between that and an online tip, I've at least managed to get my ear to start unplugging this morning. My voice isn't echoing so much inside my head, and I feel only slightly deaf instead of half deaf. But I hate to pay for another Dr visit.

On a more positive note, my weekend trip was simply wonderful. I couldn't believe all the colorful leaves we got to enjoy, courtesy of a mild fall. Made the drive just beautiful. I had great company for the drive as well. You gotta love the friend you can talk to for 6 1/2 hours straight, 2x! And we had a fun, low-key visit with our friends, enjoying their new house and 2 little ones. It always makes me so happy to see how happy this particular friend is. She's got the best of husbands and is a great stay-at-home mom.
Of course, even though it had occurred to me ahead of time, I managed to forget, and so was caught off guard by how emotional and hard it was to say good-bye. The first round of many, I'm afraid. You gotta love the friend who handles it just right when you get in the car bawling.

Well, I guess I'll get back to flight watching. I'm going a bit crazy trying to book FB's round-trip ticket and my one-way ticket. I usually just take one of the cheapest flights, no matter how obnoxious the schedule. But I'm trying to make the most of the little time he'll have here, make sure he has a long enough lay-over to navigate customs and immigration for his first time, give me the opportunity to say good-bye the day we leave (i.e. not leave at the crack of dawn if I don't have to), not get back at midnight since he'll have to work the next day, and make my one-way ticket match his return flight. How's that for craziness?!

But he'll be here 4 weeks from today!!

Monday, November 5, 2007

He's coming!!! (and I'm going...)

FB's boss is letting him have a few more days! He is coming up for a quick visit before the wedding after all!! And then we'll leave together.

Thursday, December 6th, he'll arrive here in Rochester (hopefully I can get him a flight early enough to arrive here late afternoon or early evening). Then we'll leave together on Monday, December 10th.

That means I will see him in 31 days, and I will leave for Mexico in 35 days.

The best part about this news for me (ok, one of the best parts) is knowing when I'll see my love again :)

One of the things I am happiest about in this is that something finally went right for my man. He's been pretty down and frustrated what with his job situation not being the best, and how tight money is, and not knowing if he'd even be able to come and present himself to my family before the wedding. So I am so happy for him that this worked out. Plus, it means his boss must like him at least a little bit. Also a good feeling for him.

For me, I am glad that he will see a bit of my life here before I leave. That's huge. It will be a small slice in so short a time, and I know he'll have more opportunities in the future, but it is easier for me to leave knowing he'll understand a bit of what I am leaving.

So, here we go, this is the real deal. There is an actual visit date for him, and an actual departure date for me. Wow.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


Well, I finally broke down and did it. I went to a Dr even though I have no medical insurance or coverage at all. I haven't been super-sick, and I kept hoping I'd just get better eventually. I thought it was just a cold. But it has now been 3 1/2 weeks and I'm not getting better. I'm starting to forget what normal feels like...

For some reason, every time I had to explain today that I don't have insurance (over the phone making the appointment, explaining to the person examining me why I waited so long to get checked out and how I hoped for cheap meds, talking to the billing person about what they were going to charge me...), I felt like I was going to cry. I'm hoping that's just the PMS...?

Anyways, I now have a script for an antibiotic that should cover any infection in my chest and/or sinuses, and should not cost me an arm and a leg. The appointment, however, was not cheap. Oh well, as my dad pointed out, paying all this is still cheaper than it would have been to have paid for some type of insurance for these few months.

So, hopefully, within a day or 2, this stuff will do it's think and I'll start remembering what normal is.