Thursday, September 6, 2007

Flexibility, you say?

I finally got to talk (online) to my man last night. Hooray! It'd been almost a full week. And we're chatting again tonight, with cameras. Hooray again! We haven't 'seen' each other in almost 2 weeks.

But he still doesn't know when he'll be able to come up. Apparently his boss has been too busy lately for him to sit down and talk to him. I don't think I'll be leaving the 1st week of October after all. At this point, I'd be shocked if he's able to come then.

My dad asked last night what I would do if his boss doesn't let him come up. FB is currently on a 3month 'trial' type contract. My dad seemed to think it might be difficult to leave for a week under such circumstances since his pay and review are tied into his productivity and performance.

I've tried not to think to much about this being a possibility. But I told my dad it mattered more how the family took it than me. The visit is for the family's sake, to be able to meet him and get to know him a little before I marry him. Yes, I'd be disappointed, but I know there will be other opportunities for him to get glimpses of my life here. But there won't be other opportunities for my siblings, grandparents, etc, to get to know him before the wedding. My mom has never met him, but maybe she could come down with me before the wedding when I move down.

I'm trying to remain flexible here and not be too tied to any one plan, since it is all still one big unknown. I hope to express clearly to my love tonight that the pressure is off him - we'll all understand if his boss doesn't let him come, or if it is much later than we originally planned. And I'll live if I end up moving down later than I'd like. He's got enough pressure on him without feeling like he'll have lost favor with my family before he's even met them, especially since it isn't really within his control.

I'm probably pretty normal in feeling more secure and prepared when I know what to expect and when. But I can do flexible. Honest I can. Really, I'll get over the anxious, stressed out feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I'll go with the flow. After all, the Lord sent me this verse yesterday, through a woman I hardly know...

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul."
Psalm 94:19 (NKJV)


Inkling said...

That is an amazing verse. Thank you for sharing it. As for your flexibility, wow! You are doing so much better than I would be. Flexibility was the #1 thing the leaders of my missions orientation had to work with me on, and it is turning out to be a pretty big thing I still need to work on. Watching you be flexible has been a good example for me, so thank you for sharing the ups and downs and the uncertainty you are facing. Blessings to you! May you keep on bending with the changes, and may God keep you flexible and strong.

OTRgirl said...

Great response!