Sadly neglected, but the name still applies

So, my apologies to all you faithful readers on how much I have neglected this blog of late. It was not my intention, more a function of difficult internet access compounded by 2 small children. Hopefully, it will no longer be the case.

Why, you may ask? (Well, probably the majority of you are not asking, but there's a few of you out there I still need to catch up.) The answer brings me to the reason the name of this blog still applies (in case any of you had had the same train of thought as I did this past year: that I was past being a newlywed and a newbie in Mexico, and so there wasn't much transition happening anymore...).

Well.....drum roll please.....we have just moved back to Rochester, NY! So, now we have all kinds of new fun transitions.

This is a change we started talking and praying about around a year ago, and it was only this past May that we finally got the visa approved for Herme to be able to live and work here. (He previously had a visa that was only for visiting.) That whole process has been interesting, at times quite frustrating, and I hope to write more about that soon.

We arrived here Wednesday, June 29th (a day earlier than expected, a change we discovered Monday evening). We decided extra baggage fees, altho costly, were cheaper than shipping fees, and came up with 11 checked bags and 6 carry-ons (that was for 3 paid tickets, plus the baby was allowed a diaper bag and stroller). In some ways that seems like a lot of stuff, but in other ways, we really brought only a sampling. We are staying with my parents until we get our feet under us.

For now, just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page, and let you all know that I hope to be writing much more regularly now that I have easy internet access. :)

The New House

Wow, it is embarrassing how long it has been sinceI last blogged, and how long it took me to get these pictures posted...sorry! But you know how it is, you don´t want pictures of a dirty house, but remembering to take them when the house is clean...

The house is simple, but feels much more open and is possibly bigger than the other. It is just 3 open rooms, one leading into the other. The first couple of photos are of the bedroom, which is the furthest in. (Oops, they loaded in reverse - read everything from the bottom up...) That is mosquito netting over the bed so we don`t get eaten alive at night :) In the 2nd photo, said netting kind of eats up the view, but you can see the corner of the doorway that leads into the funny little side space we use like a walk in closet/storage area. The skinny wooden door leads into the very small bathroom (even smaller than we had at the other house). The doorway full of light leads out to the side patio area. If you could see thru the netting, that is where the door into the kitchen is. The pictures of the kitchen and living room are fairly self explanatory. You see in the living room the only window in the house, but since the kitchen and the bedroom each have a door, the light andair get in. You can see the benefits of moving when the husband isn´t working- thanks to him, I have shelves installed in the living room and kitchen (that he made - the space was there, but nothing else), curtains installed, the netting over the bed, etc. I also posted a couple photos that show our view out front - lots of TREES (a rare find here). There is also one of the front of the house with our built-in bench, and one of a portion of the patio - we enjoy the neighbor´s palm tree hanging over the wall as well as a flowering vine.

We love the open layout, although my husband sometimes says he looks for a straight line and never finds one :) It was built by the owners themselves, and you can see for example that the floors are not level. We really love the location, all the trees, being able to walk to the church or to visit friends, the 7 minute drive to thein-laws. We are not so fond of the unwelcome visitors of the animal/insect kind, one of which even elicited a mild scream from me. They may do us in and cause us to look for yet another hous, if we can´t work with the owners to close them out better.

Ok, my baby girl has waited long enough for me, thanks to this computer being really really slow. Not that I am complaining, because it is free to me internet access:)

Hoping to post some new baby pictures later this week - stay tuned!

21 days and counting!

(Quick heads up - I double posted today. Thought I´d warn you all, since it is unusual for me and I don´t want you to miss anything...)

21 days from now I will be in Rochester!! For my first visit home since moving here this past December! I am obviously very excited!

I had not anticipated being able to make a visit home for quite some time, considering our tight budget and all. But a couple of weeks ago, my parents informed me that my dad has enough frequent flyer miles for a free ticket home. Yes, just one - I will be coming alone this trip. But my parents want to gift us with a trip up once the baby is born, for the 3 of us, so that we can introduce our little one to everyone back home. So I´ll be headed up again sometime next winter. All very exciting :)

I´ve been waiting to post about the trip until we settled on some dates. At first it was anytime between now and early August (when I will be too pregnant to make such a trip - airlines actually don´t allow people in their last month or month and a half to get on the plane.). Then we narrowed it down to either mid June or mid July, to work around family plans here and there. Then it looked like we would have a hard time using the free miles in July, and so mid June it would be.

THEN...My husband and I went to immigration on Friday to work on getting all my papers in order for continuing to live here. I currently just have a tourist visa, good for 180 days. Meaning it expires June 7th. So we started asking what we needed to do and working on all the paperwork back in April. Then we didn´t have a car for 2 weeks, and so couldn´t get any errands, etc, done. We got the car back last Tuesday, got the pictures I needed taken done on Wednesday, my love went in Thursday to ask the immigration folks about a couple things we weren´t sure about, and we headed in Friday thinking we had everything in order and ready to go.

Only to have the very immpatient and somewhat annoyed official suddenly start telling us that there are 2 types of visas from which we need to choose, involving different costs, different restrictions, and different outcomes (like the possibility of one day being a permanent resident or citizen here). She explained all of this very quickly, neither of us could quite keep up, forget making a good decision. And to top it off she informed us that we had forgotten one of the papers we needed, and if we didn´t make it back with it same day, it could stall things for 10 days.

Let me just say that one pregnant woman left that office crying.

Well, between the Dr´s appointment we had that morning, my beloved needing to work, and the short hours of the immigration office (they close at 1pm), we weren´t making it back same day. I where before I was slightly nervous about getting all the paperwork done before my trip home, now I was panicked. I begged my family to get some people praying for favor when we took the ´missing´paper in on Monday, as well as asking my Pastor and his wife here to pray. And I worked hard and trusting the Lord and not completely freaking out. I reminded myself that if the Lord could open the door for a trip, He could open the doors for the paperwork as well.

All thanks to the Lord, it turns out there is a very simple, straightfoward process for getting temporary paperwork that will allow me to make my trip, with only a relatively small fee of about $25. So, God willing, I will be in Rochester from June 10th to 25th!
(Umm, I don´t suppose Otrgirl/Jrex, Val, or Becca, or any other out of town friends were planning on stopping in Rochester for those dates...? Just checking....)

At first I was a little hesitant about leaving my husband for very long - we are newlyweds after all, and this will be our first time apart. Plus, he´s gonna have to move home with his mother or something while I am gone, because the man does not cook. But he really wants me to make the most of the opportunity, and it was he who encouraged me to go for at least a week, if not 2. And now my mind is quickly filling the 2 weeks up with all the people I want to see and things I want to do :)

As for the confusion of immigration - please pray. For reasons we do not understand, the immigration office went ahead and started the process for my visa despite missing that one paper and payment, and despite the fact that we never actually determined which we wanted. Of course, they started the paperwork for the other visa, the one we don´t want. So now we have to decide whether to enter into a complicated process of stopping the one and switching to the other, involving re-doing everything.....or going with the flow and waiting till next time around to get the one that puts me on a path to citizenship.

But, at least the door is open for the trip back to Rochester. You all better start blocking out some free time for me ;)

A little more on `Life Here`...

Of course, after writing that last post, I thought of several other things I should have mentioned...

For starters, it has been hot here since sometime in early March. By hot I mean generally a high in the 80s, somtimes a bit more. It is a very different type of hot than back home in Rochester. For one, it is dry heat - Saltillo is almost a desert. In contrast, the sun is way more intense here. Unlike people in Rochester who try to soak up every minute of sun they can, those who live in Saltillo rarely spend time in the sun on purpose if they can help it. The nice thing is, this city is apparently known for its natural air conditioning - there is almost always a breeze, and since we are in the mountains, it pretty much always cools off at night. Somewhere around late afternoon or early evening the breeze and air turn decidedly cooler, and although sometimes the houses stay warm for a while, we almost always end up pulling up the covers in bed at night.

On a related note, although I have become an even more religious sun-screen user (with very high SPFs), it is only mid-May and I am already the color I normally am in mid to late summer back in Rochester. I have a feeling I will be discovering new shades of tan I didn`t know I could reach.

Probably in part related to the differences in weather, and in part because people here operate on much smaller budgets, houses here are not made anything close to air-tight like they are in Rochester. So lucky me sometimes finds all manner of insects inside the house without a clue as to how they got in - we`ve had plenty of flies, several crickets, and assorted other bugs I don`t know the names of. I`m not overly squeemish about bugs, but I do generally leave the bug killing to my husband.

Also thanks to the random cracks in the house (especially around window and door frames), lots of dust/dirt gets in. Yes, more gets in because I like to have the windows open, but even closed, dirt gets in. In part this is a function of where we live and the construction going on around us - it is less of a problem for people in well-developed neighborhoods. But you would not believe the amount of dirt I sweep and mop up on a regular basis, and more so after a strong wind or storm of some kind.

And I think my final note on life here will be on church. I miss being able to enter freely into worship - I`m often trying to remember what the song is saying. Ok, often may be a bit strong, as my Spanish is improving. But you get what I mean. And it is a struggle to understand the sermon. I have always been more of a visual than auditory learner, so I have to work to keep up with sermons in English. If I don`t make a real effort, take notes, etc, I don`t remember much afterwards (in English). So I haven`t felt very fed here yet, although I think I am starting to understand enough that maybe I will try taking notes soon and see how I do.

Well, in typical blog fashion, somehow I feel better for having shared all this with you! Hopefully it is somewhat interesting to read :)

On Life in Mexico...

So sorry! Last time I posted, which was a very long time ago, I promised to get more posts up. And I actually started this post a week ago - but couldn´t finish because my time was shorter than I thought. And then, due to car troubles and the related fall out, I haven´t been on since. Finishing this post was on the top of my list for today,and then for the longest time I couldn´t sign in to Blogger. But I am in now, and hopefully have the time to finish this. Maybe I´ll post it unfinished if my husband comes for me - some news is better than no news, right? :)

I´ve been meaning for ages and ages to write an update on my life here and how I am transitioning, etc. Back when I first wanted to write it, I had the post half written in my head already. A lot has changed since then, but I don´t want to put it off any longer. So here´s hoping this post at least half way flows! ;)

First of all, I know that it is easy to use the blog to dump frustrations at times. And so you all get to hear about tight money or my naseous stomach sometimes.

But what I really want to be sure to say is how very happy and content I am here in my new life. I can´t tell you how many times I think in a week (or sometimes in one day) - how is it that I am soo blessed? Or - I can´t believe how very much I love my husband and he loves me! Or - Is this life really possible or only a dream? Will it last?

I really am very happy married to this man. I know he isn´t perfect, and we´ve already had assorted issues to work through, things from past and present, areas we don´t necessarily agree on. But overall, we are a really good fit for each other. He takes such good care of me - I´m not sure if I could have told you before I got married that I was looking for that feeling, but I sure am content now that I feel I have a husband to cares well for me. And somehow, although I tend to see where I fell short or the things I haven´t gotten done yet, he says the same about me. Do you know what a good feeling it is to have your husband take your hand to pray before a meal, and every single day include a thanks to the Lord for giving him his wife, and the coming child?

Now, as I´ve alluded to in other posts, his job is very demanding and low-paying... obviously I´d love to have a little more time with him and a little less tight of a budget. Really, as far as marriage goes, the biggest change I´d like to make is having more time with my husband. But I think that´s a pretty average for the course kind of request, one that lots of wives have. And in my case, it is one my husband echoes (sometimes the husband chooses to not be home for whatever reasons). So most of the time I don´t even give it that much thought. I just try to make the most of the time we do have together.

Switching topics, everyone always wants to know how my Spanish is coming. Honestly, I feel like I am coming along. I actually go places sometimes without my dictionary (and haven´t regretted it yet)! :) I usually can make myself understood and understand without too much mental effort at this point. I feel like I still have tons and tons of vocab to learn, but I have enough under my belt to get by. I often find myself thinking in Spanish, which they say is a sign of fluency or something to that effect. Of course, lots of times I get half way through the thought in Spanish and realize I don´t have the vocab to finish it and wonder why I am not thinking it in English. But Spanish is beginning to take over to the point that when my husband and I are trying to pratice his English, I am the one that keeps slipping into Spanish!

Talking to strangers and on the phone used to be the biggest struggles. Well, I can´t remember the last time I really struggled to understand/be understood by a stranger. And the other day I found myself talking to one of my closest friends here for 2 hours on the phone!

Speaking of friends - that seems to be another one of the biggies that people ask about. That particular friend has probably become my closest friend. She is in walking distance, and has made a point of telling me how she gets frustrated when I don´t come to visit her in a given week. (She has a baby and a child who needs to be walked to and from school everyday, so its a little harder for her to come to me...) I think second in the running is my sister-in-law. We´re close in age and connect well. And it helps that I get to see her regularly since we always head over there at least on Sunday´s after church (all my in-laws pretty much live together/next to each other). There´s others I´d like to get to know, but it is a bit hard to go visiting (we only have one car, and my husband has it all day for work) - which would help get a foundation started. Little by little I am getting there thru just the little bits of conversation at church.

Hmmm, those are the big points I think. If I missed something obvious, leave me a question in the comments to answer next post. I´m gonna go ahead and post this now while I still have time and everything. And hopefully I´ll be on more consistently again and able to post again soon!

Odor Update and A Doctor

Well, I am so glad I blogged about the bathroom smell. I should have gotten to it sooner! Although the smell is not yet gone, I do believe we now understand the problem and are on our way to fixing it (well, having someone fix it). As a couple of people commented, we believe it is a sewage smell creeping back up into the house. As a dear and very knowledgable man from my church back in Rochester emailed me, it is probably that we have a problem with the trap in that drain, whose very job it is to prevent the sewage smell from entering the house. I am thrilled that the end is in sight!

In other news, we made my first prenatal appointment today! I am very excited! We will be going on Tuesday morning at 10, to the same Dr our Pastor and his wife use. The best part is, this Dr is apparently very good, and provides care much more like what Americans would expect (not that anyone said it quite that way to me, but I´ve been told many times here prenatal checks consist of feeling the woman´s belly and sending her on her way. Whereas this Dr cares about things like vitamins and iron levels and weight gain). And the fun part is that he does an ultrasound every single month, and sends you home with the picture! So in just a few days I might get to see my baby for the 1st time!

Other than that, the most interesting thing I can share is that overall, weather here has been hitting highs of least upper 60s, if not mid 80s. Apparently, this weather is unusual and early, and things that normally don´t bloom or bud till almost May are already out. Part of me can hardly believe this is February, the other part has almost forgotten what a Rochester winter looks like!

Oh, and in answer to a question from Inkling in the comments a few days back, I have had no problems whatsoever receiving packages so far. I have had delivered to my door one smallish and one fairly large package with not a word said to me about customs or duty or any such thing. (Both senders had marked ´gift´on the customs declaration) I was both very excited and very grateful, not having been sure ahead of time how that would work out.

Tidbits

This post is a random collection of thoughts and observations I have been wanting to share...

They are building a new section to our relatively new neighborhood behind our house. I think it much have something to do with being made in the image of our Creator that makes it so very interesting to watch the process of something being built. I often watch from my upstairs window for a few minutes, and usually check daily on how much progress has been made.

I am not thrilled about having houses put in behind us, as it will feel much more closed in, but I am grateful that my bedroom window will look out at the little bit of space between houses instead right into someone else´s bedroom window. And I am grateful that there are no houses right across from us. I think they will someday turn the open patch of dirt into a park.

I´m looking forward to reaching the benchmark of 2nd trimester in about another month... the nauseasness and tiredness are getting old, and I am hopeful that some of that will ease as the 1st trimester ends.

Any worries I had about filling my day as a homemaker disappeared with the onset of pregnancy. I am lucky to keep up with the basics these days.

I´m realizing that I have a lot of fear attached to doing anything outside of my comfort zone - which includes kind of a lot of things, sometimes. I´d appreciate prayer to be released from this. I know it is natural to be nervous, etc, about new things, but in a situation where I am often confronted by new things are something outside my comfort zone (I´ve moved to another country, for goodness sake!), this whole fear issue can be a bit debilatating.

Although still being asked to work harder and do more, my beloved husband received some rare praise last night for a job well done in recent weeks. For this, I am grateful. And for the fact that he might actually get home by 8 tonight, instead of 9 or later.

Of course, last night was also when we thought we´d be getting news about the level of insurance coverage his company will provide for my prenatal/birth care, but instead found out his boss forgot to take the marriage certificate to HR in Monterrey last week. Supposedly he took it today; we now have to wait up to another week.

It is interesting the little things you learn about a person when you live with them. For example, my husband religiously checks expiration dates when making a purchase and/or consuming something we have had for a while. On the other hand, though, I´ve seen him eat fruit or homemade items well past the date I would have considered them edible.

I know there was more, but I am afraid pregnancy brain strikes again! It´s all mush now, and I can´t for the life of me think what else there was. I´ll be so annoyed later when the things I have been wanted to share with someone suddenly pop back into my head. Oh well.

Because I owe you one...

I just realized how much time has already gone by since that last post. It has almost been 2 weeks! I had no idea! Time is really flying by me.

I have had all kinds of great post ideas floating around in my head, but never have the time and/or mental energy to really pull one together. So I haven´t written anything. Instead, I am going to give you a few blurbs of the ideas that have been rumbling around in my head, and maybe some day in the future I will expound on anything I feel like gets cheated by doing it this way.

I wrote a while back about the independent streak in American culture vs. the community orientation of Mexican culture. What follows are some of the things I have been noticing that play out of that difference.

For example, in America, we get tons of junk mail and correspondence from companies we are affliated with (ie banks, credit cards, car, etc). This is the primary form of communication from advertisers and companies that want to keep us informed of our standing with them. Here in Mexico, people go door to door. This is in part because the mail system is so unreliable, but it really plays a part in the different sense of community. Salespeople, creditors, even the government - they all come to your door if they need or want to make contact with you. And if you are not home, it is perfectly acceptable to explain the purpose of your visit to a neighbor and ask them to make the contact for you. Can you imagine the average American´s response to a creditor or government official explaining their problems to a neighbor?

Although there is now what I would definetly consider a mall here in Saltillo, and many large plazas, in general you go about shopping in a very different way. When you want to, ´go shopping´, you go downtown and walk the streets wandering in and out of little shops. If you just need to grab something, you walk to the nearby appropriate shop in your neighborhood. For example, if you need a notebook or a map, you go to the nearnest ´papeleria´(paper shop). If you need a gift, or the fixings to wrap a gift, find the nearest shop labeled ´regalos´(gifts). Oh, and don´t bother buying whole rolls of paper for a single gift - there is no place in the house to store it anyways. Just buy a sheet or 2 for about a quarter.

In America, we generally chant the mantra that beggars and panhandlers are just trying to get another fix of drugs or alcohol (so don´t give them any money). Here it is understood that you are not so far above the person asking and it is very hard to find work, especially if you have any type of disability. A large percentage of the population freely gives out their pocket change to everyone from the person sitting on the sidewalk to the person somehow performing entertainment in the street in hopes of donations to the deaf person that walks door to door with a paper explaining her plight. Homemade food being sold door to door is also easily bought up.

Well, enough cultural comparisons for the moment. I have to get going. But I´ll try to write again sooner this time!

From Mexico!!

Warning- If this post ends suddenly, it is because my man has returned to the cyber for me, and I have to get going...

So, I´m here and all is well. I´ve been here almost 10 days and only had one day of real homesickness, like how am I possibly going to live this far from so many I love. But not a bad ratio so far, huh? And my beloved FB held for as long as I wanted to cry, encouraged me then and the next day to cry whenever I need to, and proposed that if it turns out to be too hard for me to live here, he thinks it´d be easier on him to live in Rochester. I don´t at all think that´s something we want to pursue at this point, but I soooo appreciate him saying so!

Things have been going well, although very busy. FB´s job involves spending the majority of the day driving around to the homes of clients behind on their accounts. So the best way for us to accomplish the myriad of errands, etc, is for me to spend the day with him and we stop as we can. So I haven´t had much time for things like blogging...

Which, speaking of his job, please pray for God to supernaturally provide a better one. This one is very long hours (From about 930am till about 830pm with an hour for lunch...although maybe it will be slightly better when he isn´t fitting all these errands in) and not enough pay. But it´d be next to impossible to find a new one while working this one. SO...

In other news, our house is very cute. I´m very excited about that! It´s brand new, we´re the first renters. And small, but plenty for the 2 of us. And within walking distance of a couple of my best friends here.

They had a shower for me last Saturday. I was very nervous to be the center of attention for so long without Herme to help me. But it was loads of fun (the Mexican culture has a better idea of how to enjoy themselves, I think)! And we were given a nice starter set of things for the house - towels, glasses, iron and board, pans...

Hmm, I´m almost out of time on my account here, so...

I appreciate your prayers as we wind up all the details before the wedding! and for my Spanish to come quickly!

I´ll write again as I´m able - I should have a bit more time when things settle down after the wedding.

The Adventure Begins...

So, I promised a post about how God used my long engagement for good, but I'm all out of time. Suffice it to say that a year ago, I cried every time my family talked about Christmas presents and whether we should pull names since there are so many of us (I ended up being the one person that exchanged gifts with everyone), and this year I happily watched as they pulled names without including me at all. My point is, I'm not usually good with change, but I think with the long engagement I've had, God has been able to prepare me and walk me through all the emotions little by little.

I leave, as in move to another country, in an hour and a half!

My man has been here since late Thursday night, and in case anyone wasn't sure, I've got an awesome man to become my husband. This was an exhausting, overwhelming weekend for him. But he managed to walk it out quite gracefully, AND consistently put his own feelings aside to help me walk out my good-byes. Which, all things considered, I've handled pretty well. There must be people praying for me! Don't get me wrong, there were tears each time I said good-bye to the next person, but only ever a few, and I never got overwhelmed by sadness or anything.

That's a really short, doesn't do it justice, description of where I'm at and what I'm up to. But I gotta get moving.

One more thing....FB and my family really connected well, I think. Which is awesome for me.

Ok, next time I write, I'll be in Mexico. I have no clue when that will be, but I will be back. Promise.

Little bit of good packing news

I'd been weighing all my bags on the scale we have here at my parents' house, stopping several pounds short of the limit since I didn't know how the scale at the airport would compare. I didn't want to cut it real close to the limit only to discover that our scale was off and all my bags were overweight.

So, this morning, early, and in the snow, I trekked out to the airport with one of my heaviest bags and got it weighed. It weighed the exact same amount at the airport as it did at home. That means that every bag I packed so far can hold several more pounds of stuff each. That is a HUGE help in my organizing and packing world!

Well, I'm off to pack some more :P

I think I've mentioned...

...how I hate packing!

For some reason it always turns my brain to mush. I have to put so much thought into what should go together so that breakables don't break and nothing is overweight and I can find things later...

And now the weight limits imposed by the airlines are really pretty tight. Which is extremely frustrating, because I have lots of stuff I'd like to take with me, and some nice big suitcases that can hold lots of that stuff...but if I fill them, they are overweight and I have to pay major fees :(

UPDATE: Scratch the comments on major fees. Turns out for my flight to Mexico, I'm not allowed to take anything over 50 pounds, period. It is so frustrating to have the space for the things I need to pack, but be limited by weight. Apparently shipping is more important to airlines than passengers luggage.

Like I said, it all turns my brain to mush, so this post is unfortunatly nothing inspired. But please pray for my man, as his boss informed him yesterday that he needs to work double today and tomorrow to make up for his time coming here. Which, when combined with his very early departure time Thursday and the fact that he has never flown, means there is quite the potential for him to be exhausted when he arrives. So pray for productivity, rest, strength, and easy travel.

Coming soon....how such a long engagement was probably God's way of preparing me...

Weeeee!!

FB will arrive one week from today!!!

We will be married one month from today!!!

These last few days - excitement way out-weighs sadness :)

FAQ

As suggested by a good friend, I am going to share with you all this morning the most frequently asked questions posed to me in the last several months.

So, are you (getting) excited??
This question bugs me. Are you serious? Of course I'm excited! I'm getting married!! I think this is the kind of question people ask when they don't take the time to actually think of something to talk about.

When are you leaving/when is he coming?
This question, although much more valid than the last one, has definitely gotten old. But only because until just a couple of weeks ago, I had no good answer for this. Sometimes I'd give some vague answer about what we were hoping would happen, other times I just said I had no idea. And although I think I have handled all of our ever-changing plans pretty well (thank you very much), not being able to give a good answer to this question invariably brought on a subtle roll of anxiety in my gut.

Will you work when you get there?
Umm, I was thinking that moving to another country, mastering a foreign language, and getting married would be enough major adjustments for one time. Plus, just about any job is going to require a little more Spanish than I currently have. Of course, considering our current financial status, it may become necessary. Which kind of stresses me out sometimes.

How many days?
This one is asked consistently by a few people who know how much I enjoy counting down to the wedding :) (32 days, in case you didn't notice. and only 9 until he gets here!)

Are you ready?
This one has started popping up more recently. I usually answer that I don't think it is really possible for me to know until it happens. I don't even have anything remotely close in my life to compare this to.

How are your parents with all of this?
Not a bad question, I suppose, except that the answer seems so obvious. How do you think they are doing? They feel like just about any parent would feel (at least, within a healthy family relationship)...they are excited about the marriage to a great guy, excited their daughter is happy, sad that we'll be living so far away.

The extreme repetitiveness of these questions makes me feel a bit like a high school senior (you know, when all you are ever asked is if you "know what you want to do next year/with the rest of your life?"). It's not that some of the questions aren't valid, but that so many times it feels like the person asking didn't give any thought to the conversation, just grabbed onto the easiest, most obvious question that popped into their head. It also makes me feel a bit one dimensional, if that makes sense. I truly appreciate the few who show how much they truly care (even if they do ask one of the FAQs), who you can tell stopped what they were doing or thinking about long enough to really listen and go a little deeper than the surface.

Questions I wished I was asked more often:

Is there anything I can do for you?/Do you need anything?
I don't always have a good answer for this one, but it makes me feel cared for. Luggage and cash are about the only gifts I'm accepting at this point. Help packing can be nice. Prayers are huge. Speaking of which...

How can I pray?
I love this one. There are so few tangible ways anyone can help me, but there are lots of things I'll take prayer for. My answer can vary based on who I am talking to and what other things we've already discussed, but a few of the biggies include:
-FB's job situation. His current salary does not even come close to cutting it. And I'm just talking paying the bills, not anything extra or comfort based.
-My Spanish!
-My transition. This is a huge change, and it's only gonna work by God's grace. Related to this - my emotions. To be able to process them in a healthy way without becoming overwhelmed by them. Also related - building relationships with people even though I'm not yet fluent in their language.
-Honestly, I truly worry sometimes about whether I'll be a good wife. I'm thinking that probably a lot of soon-to-be-married women have this concern. Mine is compounded by all the cultural adjustments (will I be able to make foods he likes/is used to? will homemaking skills I have here easily transfer to a place with different customs and resources? will my Spanish improve quickly enough for me to be able to communicate effectively with him?)

Of course, watch - I'll end up missing being asked all these questions once I'm surrounded by non-English speakers and missing everyone here :P

What to say?

I couldn't help but notice (you may have as well) that I have posted significantly less this month than the last couple of months. I got to wondering why that was, since I have at least as much time now for it as I have had. The conclusion I reached is that my focus is so narrow right now, I feel like I'll only be repeating myself. The cycle of emotions I posted a few days ago pretty much sums up where I am at lately.

But a couple of new things I can share...

I didn't expect to be here still for Thanksgiving. I'm truly looking forward to fully enjoying tomorrow. All of my siblings and their spouses and/or children will be there (the first time since the end of July). We'll be at my aunt's (my mom's younger sister) like we have been every year about as long as I remember. My aunt and uncle will make way too much food, we'll end up laughing hysterically with my grandmother over next to nothing...the same things that happen every year and are that much more special because of it. An extra special element this year - I am bringing my wedding dress (as well as all the extras like the veil and jewelry) to try on for my grandmother. Since the trip to Mexico would much too much for her at almost-95, I'm looking forward to being able to at least share this much of the wedding experience with her.

I've already chatted with FB about creating our own Thanksgiving tradition in Mexico. We'd have to do it on a Saturday so that people would have the time to join us. But I'm looking forward to an opportunity to share some of my traditions and memories with friends and family there.

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Just in case anyone lost track, my fiance will be here 2 weeks from tomorrow...
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Something I just recently found out about and am looking forward to quite a bit - apparently my future sisters-in-law and future landlady (also a friend) are planning a bridal shower for me the first Saturday after I arrive in Saltillo! I'm really excited to be able to see friends and celebrate with them! And since they are holding it so early after my arrival, I'll quickly have a better handle on what we'll need to purchase.

Other than that, the only real news is that plans are coming together for the few days that FB will be here. I've sent out email invites to an Open House for that Saturday, my old coworkers are planning a short shower type party for us, I'm going to talk to grandma tomorrow about a visit with her that Friday morning, and still need to talk to my grandfather about a visit with him. I'm the only one able to meet him when he arrives, as most people will be at work or school, but that will give him a little bit to reorient himself after a long day.

Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Cyclical emotions

Ummm... do you realize that my man will be here in 20 days??! That's right - less than 3 weeks from now. Do you also realize that only a few short days after he arrives, we'll leave together - as in, I will make a permanent move to another country??!

This knowledge sends me through the following cycle of emotions:

1) I'm so excited I want to jump up and down because there are only 20 short days until I can see the love of my life!! And where every other time I've seen him, I've had to leave him less than 2 weeks later - this time I will be seeing him every day indefinitely!!

2) I become almost paralyzed at the thought of packing for a move to another country. I have moved many times in my life, including 9 moves in the last 11 years (is that not ridiculous??). But to move to another country? One far enough away that I am flying, not driving - meaning anything and everything I want to bring with me needs to fit into a suitcase. Oh, and each suitcase has to fit the ever lowering weight limit unless I want to pay exorbitant fees - meaning I have to think very carefully about which items I pack together in each suitcase.

3) Ok, quick disclaimer on this one: I have never been more sure of something in my life. I absolutely know that this move is exactly what I want to and should do. BUT - I am slightly in shock that in a little more than 3 weeks, I am going to move to another country. I am, as in, me - the girl who has lived within a 5 mile radius her whole life (minus one or 2 years that were less than 15 miles out).

4) A deep sadness about all the people who I love and care about who will be here while I am there, and how very much I will miss them.

5) A bit of disbelief, in a fairy-tale, very happy kind of way, that I am actually getting married - to a man that I love and respect very, very much. And just to put the icing on the cake, so to speak, I am beginning to feel like I will truly look like a princess on my wedding day. (Have I mentioned how much I like my dress? And jewelry? And how I now have the perfect make-up? Oh, I have? Ok, good.)

On a related note, a friend recently mentioned how she will soon be celebrating her 9th anniversary. There have been many times that I have reassured myself that I have not been single all that long, that I am still relatively young, etc. And then a friend mentions she's been married almost 9 years (and she was a senior in college when she married - an adult, by most everyone's standards), and I realize that I actually have been a single adult woman for quite a while. I've kinda gotten used to it, in fact, and have learned to enjoy many aspects of it (not that I ever enjoyed it enough to want to stay single!). I'm thinking married life might be a bit of an adjustment.

Anyone else tired yet? Because I am. This transition stuff is exhausting.

They're booked!!

I booked the flights this morning!

They aren't perfect - FB's ticket ended up a bit more expensive than I expected, and we arrive back in Mexico kind of late - but he'll arrive here at 2:30 in the afternoon, which maximizes his time here. We don't leave till 11:00 am that Monday. And there's only one layover in each direction. And unless there's some major issue, he should have enough time to get through customs and immigration on the way up here.

So, I really am leaving. Funny how much more things sink in when there's an actual date and flight. I've known for over a year that this was coming, but while all the dates were fuzzy, it was easy to not really consider what all it meant. Hmmm. That isn't exactly what I'm trying to say, but it is the best I can do to put it into words for the moment.

I've been crying a lot ever since the date to leave was set. Not long bouts of sobbing or anything. Just moments where someone comes to mind and I realize how much I'll miss them and how much it hurts to leave them. Maybe it's the thought of a nephew or niece, or just before I call a good friend, or after calling my mom about the hundredth thing that day. And I'll lose it (sometimes completely, sometimes just a few tears) for a minute or 2. Times that by several times a day. It's kind of exhausting.

On the other hand, I'm so excited about seeing FB that I can hardly stand it! I keep thinking about the really great part where I don't have to say good-bye to him for a long time to come. I'll be with him everyday. And I'm looking forward to the time I'll be spending with his family before the wedding (I'll definitely be staying with his mom, sister, and nieces for the few weeks between my arrival and the wedding, and he and his brother will go live in the house we're going to rent). I can't wait to see all my friends in Saltillo. I'm already hoping I get to go to home group the night after I arrive so I can see some of them.

I'm working hard at making sure I turn to the Lord with all my ups and downs. I don't know why it is that it is so easy to avoid the Lord exactly at the times you most need Him. So, when I find myself in tears or anticipating the excitement of being with my man, I am really trying to stop and talk to the Lord about it for a moment. Ask Him for help, or thank Him for the ways I'm blessed, or just share what I'm feeling.

All in all, this is quite the roller coaster ride. Please pray I don't completely exhaust myself as I work through all the emotions. Please pray I do indeed work through all the emotions. Please pray for supernatural organizational and packing abilities. Please pray for the right priorities for FB's time here.
Thanks.

Updates

For those of you who like a little closure, I thought I should post a couple of updates.

As you may remember, I've been sick for 4 solid weeks now. A week ago, I finally broke down and went to the Dr sans insurance and got an antibiotic. I had high hopes of remembering what normal feels like within a few days.

Well, as it turns out, the antibiotic does not appear to have done a thing for me. Took the last one last night. I'm still congested. Still coughing occasionally. I bought a different expectorant/decongestant yesterday (this time I had my ID ready). Between that and an online tip, I've at least managed to get my ear to start unplugging this morning. My voice isn't echoing so much inside my head, and I feel only slightly deaf instead of half deaf. But I hate to pay for another Dr visit.

On a more positive note, my weekend trip was simply wonderful. I couldn't believe all the colorful leaves we got to enjoy, courtesy of a mild fall. Made the drive just beautiful. I had great company for the drive as well. You gotta love the friend you can talk to for 6 1/2 hours straight, 2x! And we had a fun, low-key visit with our friends, enjoying their new house and 2 little ones. It always makes me so happy to see how happy this particular friend is. She's got the best of husbands and is a great stay-at-home mom.
Of course, even though it had occurred to me ahead of time, I managed to forget, and so was caught off guard by how emotional and hard it was to say good-bye. The first round of many, I'm afraid. You gotta love the friend who handles it just right when you get in the car bawling.

Well, I guess I'll get back to flight watching. I'm going a bit crazy trying to book FB's round-trip ticket and my one-way ticket. I usually just take one of the cheapest flights, no matter how obnoxious the schedule. But I'm trying to make the most of the little time he'll have here, make sure he has a long enough lay-over to navigate customs and immigration for his first time, give me the opportunity to say good-bye the day we leave (i.e. not leave at the crack of dawn if I don't have to), not get back at midnight since he'll have to work the next day, and make my one-way ticket match his return flight. How's that for craziness?!

But he'll be here 4 weeks from today!!

He's coming!!! (and I'm going...)

FB's boss is letting him have a few more days! He is coming up for a quick visit before the wedding after all!! And then we'll leave together.

Thursday, December 6th, he'll arrive here in Rochester (hopefully I can get him a flight early enough to arrive here late afternoon or early evening). Then we'll leave together on Monday, December 10th.

That means I will see him in 31 days, and I will leave for Mexico in 35 days.

The best part about this news for me (ok, one of the best parts) is knowing when I'll see my love again :)

One of the things I am happiest about in this is that something finally went right for my man. He's been pretty down and frustrated what with his job situation not being the best, and how tight money is, and not knowing if he'd even be able to come and present himself to my family before the wedding. So I am so happy for him that this worked out. Plus, it means his boss must like him at least a little bit. Also a good feeling for him.

For me, I am glad that he will see a bit of my life here before I leave. That's huge. It will be a small slice in so short a time, and I know he'll have more opportunities in the future, but it is easier for me to leave knowing he'll understand a bit of what I am leaving.

So, here we go, this is the real deal. There is an actual visit date for him, and an actual departure date for me. Wow.

Checking in...

So, I do have some good pictures contrasting raining and sunny fall colors - I just haven't had a chance to download them to the computer yet. But they are coming :)

I'm excited because this weekend I'm get to enjoy what has become one of my favorite fall traditions...driving with a friend down the back roads to the Naples end of Canandaigua Lake to buy a grape pie. The views are fantastic, especially if I time it right to catch the colors (which I think we've managed to do). And grape pie is one of those unusual but very yummy seasonal treats. Being able to do this is one of the perks of not leaving as early as I'd expected for Mexico.

Another perk of still being here, that I am also very excited about, is that I get to go visit one of my oldest friends next weekend :) I've known her since Kindergarten, love the man she married (he brings out all her best sides), and am looking forward to meeting the newest addition to their family. To top it all off, another good friend of many years to going with me! This is not the CA visit I had hoped for , but I am still grateful for the opportunity I wasn't sure I'd have.

In other news, good friends in Mexico (the Pastor and his wife) are expecting a baby! Very fun. They currently have 2 boys, who will be 10 and 12 by the time the baby comes :)